Vincent & The Jackster - Best of Chooms - 02

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"Hey, V, you know how I always wanted to ride a real motorcycle, right? Not those fancy hoverbikes or cybercycles, but a good old-fashioned Harley Davidson. Well, I finally got my chance last week. I was doing a job for Dex, you know, the fixer. He wanted me to steal some data from a corpo warehouse. So, I hacked into their security system and found out they had a garage full of vintage bikes. I couldn’t resist, man. I decided to take one for a spin after I got the data.

So, I grabbed the keys from the guard’s locker and hopped on the bike. It was a beauty, V. A classic Road King, all black and chrome, with a roaring engine and leather seats. I felt like a king of the road, cruising through Night City with the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. I was having the time of my life, until I realized I had a problem.

The bike had no GPS, no radio, no cyberlink. Nothing. It was just a dumb machine. And I had no idea where I was going. I got lost in some back alley, with no map, no compass, no clue. And to make matters worse, I had a bunch of corpo goons on my tail, who tracked me down from the warehouse. They were shooting at me with their smart guns and drones, trying to get their bike back.

I had to think fast, V. I had to lose them somehow. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I drove into a mall. Yeah, you heard me right. A mall. A huge shopping center full of people and stores and kiosks and escalators and everything. I figured it would be a good place to hide and confuse them.

But boy, was I wrong.

As soon as I entered the mall, all hell broke loose. People started screaming and running away from me. Security guards started chasing me with their batons and tasers. Shop owners started throwing things at me from their windows. And the corpo goons were still behind me, firing their guns and missiles.

It was chaos, V. Pure chaos.

I tried to dodge and weave through the crowd, but it was impossible. The bike was too big and too loud for the mall. It knocked over everything in its path: stands, carts, benches, displays, you name it. It made a huge mess of the place.

And then it got worse.

I reached the end of the mall, where there was a big glass window overlooking the street. I thought it was my way out. But it wasn’t.

It was a trap.

The window was bulletproof.

I crashed into it at full speed and bounced back like a rubber ball.

The bike exploded on impact.

And I flew through the air like a ragdoll.

I landed on a pile of plushies in a toy store.

And that’s how I got this teddy bear." — Jackie then shows V a teddy bear with a bullet hole in its chest that he keeps as a souvenir.

V laughs and shakes his head in disbelief, embodying his greatest Reanu Keeves expression, "No way!".

“Jackie, Jackie, Jackie… You’re crazy, man. You’re crazy.”