MY CHILDHOOD BACKGROUND
I was born in 1954 and grew up in a small town in Massachusetts. My father worked in a factory and attended mass at the St. John’s Catholic Church several times a week. His father was a Baptist, his Mother was Catholic, and he owned a bible, reading it often as his father did. My mother studied fashion illustration and art and was a seamstress and homemaker having been brought up Baptist and not wanting to make problems for my father or his family, decided that our family would be raised Catholic. I attended mass regularly with my father and went to catechism classes to learn the Catholic faith. It was at the Catholic Church that I learned many prayers and developed a fear and reverence for Almighty God.
When I was 8 years old, my father took ill suddenly and died at the age of 48 leaving my mother with five children to raise by herself. Saddened by my father’s death, I began to blame God and I stopped going to church, very seldom praying to God anymore. As time went on, I asked about reading a bible that my father kept on the coffee table, and my mother told me that it pained her too much for anyone to read it, so she locked it up in a closet so that no one in the family could read it. From that time until I was 21 years old I didn’t think about God that much and was disinterested in religion of any kind. As time went on, my mother tried to get a job as a fashion illustrator but failed so she took a job as a waitress, and continued to work at home as a seamstress. Our family had to be on welfare for several years, which was a very humbling experience for all of us. Through those years my mother took ill twice, was treated for a liver problem, committed to a mental institution once for observation, and we had to be split up with relatives for a month until my mother came home from the hospital. During that time I became even more disappointed with God, that He could have allowed such a thing to happen to our family. In short, I blamed God for all that happened to our family, and inwardly I felt sorry more for myself than I did for anyone else in my family, even blaming my Mother too. At the age of 18 I moved out of the house and out of the lives of my family for a time. I went off to college and moved around, keeping a very loose connection with my immediate family.
AN INTERESTING MEETING
Feeling that I really needed a change from college and wanting to experience the world, I dropped out of college and found a fortune teller who told me that I would go to a foreign place and meet someone who would greatly impact my life. So, 2 months later in June of 1975, I enlisted in the United States Army and after some training, went to Germany in 1976. While I was there, I became friendly with a fellow Army soldier named Jim. He and I spent a lot of time working together, traveling, and playing Army softball during our time off from military duty. During the course of time, Jim told me a story of how he had been reading the bible and that he knew Jesus Christ as his “personal savior”. At first, I thought that he was just a nice guy who wanted me to get interested in the bible to better my life in some way, but the more I thought about my father’s bible that I never got to read, the more I wanted to read it for myself. One day Jim dropped by my room in the barracks with a copy of the bible and offered to give it to me. I thought to myself, “What harm could it do to read a little of this book, after all, I have 2 more years in Germany before I will be able to go home.” As I began to read the Bible for the first time, strangely, “something” was drawing me to read it and I learned some important things that I would like to share with you.
WHAT I LEARNED FROM READING THE BIBLE
I learned who God really is from the Bible’s perspective. (Acts 17 24-31) “The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’ “Being then the children of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and thought of man. “Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent, because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead.”
I learned that I cannot save myself or gain entrance into the kingdom of Heaven by any effort of my own. (Ephesians 2:8-9) For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.; Romans 4:6 “just as David also speaks of the blessing of the one to whom God counts righteousness apart from works:” Titus 3:5 “he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.”
I learned that I must repent of my sinful life 2 Corinthians 7:10 says: For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. Feeling sorry for your sin is not enough, all people of the world sorrow, those who seek God will be sorrowful over their sins and due something about it with God’s help. God desires for us to admit to Him that our lives have been a sinful lie, something He already knows.
I learned that I was a sinner who was hopelessly lost and under condemnation of death. (Spiritual death is everlasting separation from God in hell and eventually the lake of fire) see Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God;” Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”.; John 3:18-19 “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil”.; Matthew 25:41-46 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”; Revelation 20:10-15 “Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. From his presence earth and sky fled away, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done. And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done. Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.”
And finally, I learned that Jesus Christ, God’s only begotten Son, gave His own life and blood by dying on a cross to pay the penalty for my sin and rose from the dead, and He could do this because He is fully God and fully man. Romans 5:8 says: “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us”.; 1 Peter 2:24 “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed”.; 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 “For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.”
MY COMMITMENT
So one day, in the privacy of my own bedroom, I admitted to God that I am a sinner and deserve the penalty of death. Romans 6:23 says: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I asked Jesus Christ to save me from my sins, believing that He died personally in my place, for me. John 1:12 “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” Romans 10:9-10 “because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”
The Bible says that God saved me (Romans 10:13 “For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”).
The Bible says that God forgave me of all my sins (Ephesians 1:7 “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace”.)
The Bible says that my salvation is sure and secure forever (John 10:28 “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand”.).
I now hold fast to these truths to this very day because God's Spirit lives within me and has given me the power to live for Him. Romans 8:14-16 “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.”
It's important to note that I don't believe I'm perfect, certainly far from it and yes, like someone in the Bible named Job, I believe I am blameless and forgiven and certainly at times I'm a hypocrite and I still sin against God, but God is perfect and that is the important part.
A CHALLENGE TO YOU
I thought it would be beneficial to include these verses that you would read them, maybe for the first time, and if so I would challenge you to look up these verses and meditate on them. It was 37 years ago that God, through Jesus, saved me from my sins, and I acknowledge God’s sovereignty in my life and thank Him for the love and patience with which he watched over me all those years as I ignored Him.
Many people have a bible in their home, but never bother to read it for reasons personal to them. If this is true of you, I encourage you to make the effort to read the Bible for yourself, possibly starting in the Book of John or Romans. Believing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only way that you can come to personally know the God of the bible through Jesus Christ, his only begotten Son. Oh, and don’t forget to go to a good bible believing church; that is where true born again, Spirit led believers, have fellowship with God and each other!
Sincerely,
Caleb
P.s. Thanks for the time you spent reading this testimony and by the way, my Mother finally accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior in a local Baptist church within 6 months of my profession of faith in 1976! She went home to be with the Lord several years later. I can’t wait to see her again!
