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Sooo... I finally finished Mass Effect: Andromeda today. And I'm heartbroken. I never wanted it to end. I put off doing the last mission for a whole week, just hoovering up all the smaller quests until they gradually dwindled out. I just wanted to spend more time with Ryder and her scrappy gang of space mates.

I almost didn't go through with doing the last mission and considered just leaving it. I was scared because I knew that this was finally it. But decided Ryder deserved the ending she had worked so hard to reach. They all did.

What a fucking ride this game was! Tracking a scientist in a stolen shuttle, only to find out she was pregnant with the first human child in Andromeda, arguments with Addison and Tann, getting in a bar fight alongside Drack, long drives over desert and snowy landscapes, not believing a doctor and making the wrong choice over a drug on Kadara (I regret that one), fighting to take control of an Asari ark, telling Liam off for every dumb mistake he made, finding a pet on the Tempest, drinking with Reyes above Kadara Port, Gil becoming a father (weird), that first panic when you set off a vault, PeeBee and Poc, Kalindra being a mad bitch, Interviews with Keri, becoming a sniper extraordinaire, never using fast travel just to listen to every last bit of conversation between the gang, Sara together with Cora (thanks to "Romance for All"). And a million more memories.

Funnily enough, I bounced off it HARD when it was released. Twice. I first spent around 10 hours playing and just dropped it. It wasn't like the other Mass Effects. I picked it up again around a year after that and spent around 20 hours playing, and dropped it. It still wasn't like the other Mass Effects.

The third time was during the pandemic and lockdown. I had started Cyberpunk 2077, got through the first act and it had just let me free in the open world. I was SO exited to spend time in Night City, a sprawling RPG in which to lose myself for months on end. What I discovered was an absolutely broken, shallow, lifeless façade of a world with no meaningful choices to make, hateful characters populating the space and just a generally depressing atmosphere in the game. It felt like it was rushed at the last minute and held together with tape. I was gutted.

So I decided to give Andromeda one last try to scratch my open world RPG itch. And I'm SO utterly glad I did.

This third time I spent an unbelievably long time in character creation making a Sara Ryder that I wanted to spend time with. I wanted her to look young and fresh faced. An actual daughter, exploring the galaxy with her father. As I got further in I was coming to a gradual realisation. This really wasn't like the other Mass Effects. Sara Ryder was young and inexperienced and suddenly thrust into a position of finding a new home for humanity! The team around her were also young, scrappy and naïve, often making mistakes and making it up as they went. Sara wasn't a hero, she was a daughter in her late fathers shadow being scrutinised under the spotlight by millions. She was the underdog trying to prove her and her team of misfits could achieve the impossible, fighting red tape and doing what she thinks is best for humanity to survive. As soon as this clicked with me, the whole atmosphere around the game was perfect.

What then followed were some of the most heart-warming and fantastic 230 hours I have ever spent with a game. It has even managed to become my favourite Mass effect out of them all!

I made decisions based upon what Sara would do, not what I would do. I thought about the implications for other team members and characters. This was a living world I was part of and Sara's choices would shape the future. Knowing that there will never be a follow up or DLC crushes me.

And today it came to an end.

I had one last conversation with the squad aboard the Tempest. I walked to the bridge, took one last look out into the vastness of space, And switched it off.

Thank you Sara Ryder, thank you Mass Effect Andromeda, and thank you to every single person that created it in what was apparently an almost impossible development situation.

What a fucking ride...