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Ralof is marriable and can be a follower. Make love, not war!
Be on the side of the Sons of Skyrim and win the Civil War. Then talk to Ralof. Don't forget an Amulet of Mara.
After the wedding he will not speak about war any more. The "ugly" line can be said only once. You both have Lover's Comfort at the same time, as in my other marriage mods.
I included here an option for divorcing him, and you'll be able to remarry after it. How to divorce: dismiss him if he is your current follower, throw all of Bonds of Matrimony out of your inventory, talk to him and say that you want a divorce.
It is compatible with Hearthfire, and doesn't require it.