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Roadhouse699

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21 comments

  1. MightyPotoo
    MightyPotoo
    • BANNED
    • 4 kudos
    Sticky
    When Madam Pompadour was on a ballroom floor
    Said all the gentlemen "Obviously"
    "The madam has the cutest ASS"
    And think of all the books about Du Barry's looks
    What was it made her the toast of Paree?
    She had a well-developed ASS

    What did Romeo see in Juliet?
    Or Pierrot in Pierette? Or Jupiter in Juno?
    You know, and when Salome danced
    And had the boys entranced, no doubt
    It must have been easy to see
    That she knew how to use her ASS

    A girl can learn to spell and take dictation well
    And never sit on the boss's settee
    Unless she's got a perfect ASS
    A girl can get somewhere in spite of stringy hair
    Or even just a bit bowed at the knee
    If she can show a faultless ASS

    Why are certain girls offered certain things
    Like sable coats and wedding rings?
    By men who wear their spats right?
    That's right! So don'tcha say
    "I'm smart and have the kindest heart"
    Or "What a wonderful sister I'd be"

    Just tell me how you like my ASS

    Baby, you've got the cutest ASS!
    1. Roadhouse699
      Roadhouse699
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      Salome knew how to use her ass.
    2. SanctuaryHills
      SanctuaryHills
      • account closed
      • 4 kudos
      Why do they all fit so perfectly ? Its scary.
    3. SenecaLaptop
      SenecaLaptop
      • member
      • 0 kudos
      They fit perfectly because the song was written with the word "personality" as a euphemism for physical assets. This is pretty much all the song was saying in the first place, the mod author has simply removed the sly wink of using a more acceptable term in place of "hot body".
    4. Roadhouse699
      Roadhouse699
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      • 623 kudos
      Seriously, just look at that picture Johnny Mercer. He's looking down a little, clearly at a woman's butt/breasts, with a pencil in his mouth pointing upwards. Clearly a euphemism for his erect penis.
  2. smaxy3
    smaxy3
    • member
    • 5 kudos
    Essential.... Assential.
  3. xXBludnmunyXx
    xXBludnmunyXx
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    • 0 kudos
    This... is brilliant...
  4. BenjaminDwyer
    BenjaminDwyer
    • member
    • 2 kudos
    Your FAQs are the greatest thing on the Nexus.
  5. AsterCorbett
    AsterCorbett
    • member
    • 11 kudos
    Honestly all you did was cut out the subtext from the song-- it was always talking about the assets, just with the euphemism. It was always about how if you're not smart or pretty, you better have another reason for others to like you aka, the goods. It's just as vile to listen to as a girl and I groan every time it comes on the radio.

    Half the reason why Diamond City Radio kind of is lukewarm is that Bethesda farmed vintage music for anything that seemed semi-related to the game, without regard to that half of it was just subtext for good ol sex and love songs. And old music is often seen as cutesy or sanitary, even if people have been dogs forever. Not sure if I'll use this mod itself but it did make me laugh to hear you get straight to the point.
    1. Roadhouse699
      Roadhouse699
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      • 623 kudos
      I used to just turn the radio off every time this song came on.

      And honestly, I think people were more fucked up and perverted back then than they are now.
    2. speed0spank
      speed0spank
      • supporter
      • 7 kudos
      Well yeah, half the songs from this era are old men singing about watching little girls get old enough to have sex with them. If you actually listen to a lot of the lyrics its ungood.
  6. Betelman
    Betelman
    • member
    • 0 kudos
    I don't know if there are any haters of this but, I find this frakkin hilarious!
  7. Shadowsnipe1367
    Shadowsnipe1367
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    • 0 kudos
    I'm not even gonna use this mod I'm just going to endorse for your FAQ section
  8. SenecaLaptop
    SenecaLaptop
    • member
    • 0 kudos
    The twelve-year-old boy inside me could not stop laughing listening to this. Well done. You've stripped the thinly-veiled innuendo from the song and made it straightforward.
    1. Roadhouse699
      Roadhouse699
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      • 623 kudos
      Salome knew how to use her ass.
  9. mastaflykilla
    mastaflykilla
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    • 1 kudos
    That Q and A section of the description was hilarious.
    1. Roadhouse699
      Roadhouse699
      • premium
      • 623 kudos
      I'm known more for FAQs than mods.
  10. chuckdm
    chuckdm
    • supporter
    • 18 kudos
    Not to make the most obvious statement in the history of humor, but I'm like 99% sure the original song is a joke. As in, "Personality" is intended to be a euphemism for...well either tits or ass, who knows which. What I'm saying is you're killing the original joke here. This is a bit like saying "Why was the chicken crossing to the other side of the road? To get to the other side!" Yeah. Obviously. But when you put the punch-line inside the delivery, it ruins the whole effect.

    Still, I'm never one to complain when someone puts in effort. I've made a couple ESP edits myself and made the mistake of trying a retexture once and to this day it makes me cringe, so kudos for the effort regardless. I hope someone enjoys it.

    And no, it shouldn't be offensive to anyone. If you don't find the original offensive, then there's nothing offensive about this either. Frankly, it's LESS offensive because at least it's more direct and honest about what the really song means.
    1. Roadhouse699
      Roadhouse699
      • premium
      • 623 kudos
      Yeah the moment I had my suspicions (think I spelled that right). Honestly, I find that this makes the song more tolerable than anything else. I used to f*#@ing despise this even more than Johnny Guitar, but goddammit I've listened to it so many times today.
  11. Wolfsnagel
    Wolfsnagel
    • member
    • 1 kudos
    Cool, man! Well done!!!